In Honour of John Clarke

Image result for john clarke

In deference and respect for John Clarke who died recently, I am going to use one of his approaches to writing a newspaper column which takes the form of answers to an apparent quiz.

False.  One could be forgiven for thinking that United Airlines actually cares about its customers but clearly they don’t.

True.  United Airlines were absolutely surprised that a few passengers on their controversial flight had mobiles still on and would have the audacity to film UA staff behaving appallingly toward a passenger and then post these videos on social media.  Outrageous behaviour in the 21st century.

True.  United Airlines are also renowned for breaking guitars.

True.  Despite all evidence to the contrary, Pauline does love her ABC.

Amazingly true.  There is such a thing as a halal chocolate egg.  Not so sure about chocolate rabbits.

True.  The most emphatic data gained from the 2016 Census was the amount of time Australians wasted trying to log on to the website.

False.  South Australia is clearly not full enough of wind.

False.  No, the NBN will not solve your internet woes if you live outside Kirribilli or Point Piper.

True.  Owning one’s own home will remain just that, the Great Australian Dream.

False.  Euthanasia seldom involves youth.

True.  Barnaby Joyce is an intellectual giant as he has the answer to housing affordability – city home buyers should all move to the country.

Unfortunately true.  One Nation Senator, Malcolm Roberts, has accused the ABC of colluding with ISIS.

False.  There are no homes in a housing bubble.

True.  Putin is not putting in enough to bring peace to the Middle East.

True.  Corrugated road surfaces are as Australian as corrugated iron.

True.  A PM named Turnbull has a natural talent for turning bull into policy.

False.  Australian Idol does not refer to a religious icon.

False.  So-lar does not refer to two notes of a musical octave.

True.  Braces did once hold trousers up rather than teeth in.

True.  Tax cuts are far less painful than paper cuts and seldom require bandaids.

False.  Shorten maybe shortening the odds but his personal popularity is short on.

True.  Rhinehart is significantly more fiscally valuable than a rhinestone but not necessarily as pretty.

True.  Trump by name, trumpet by nature.

True.  There’s no doubt about it, the situation in Syria is very complicated.

False.  Clarke and Dawe are not 2/3 of a law firm.





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